Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Planet Nedward

Nedward sit on their inflatable couch, flicking through the channels.
“Oh look Ned, were on telly they’re doing a replay of us performing Waterlone, our brilliant new song, on the Eurovision” Ward says in his irritating girlish voice, his Rs rolling over each other.  Neds face jolts to the television screen.
“OMG OMG Ward we look so good! I especially love our badassness””
 “...and the winner of Eurovision Song Contest twenty twelve iz *drumroll* Sweee-den.”  The crowd cheers, the lights flicker and Ward switches the channel.
“It’s only a load of poo anyway Ned, don’t mind them, they don’t realise who we are, wait until next year! Third time lucky eh! “

“You know what you’re right Ward, next year we will show them people from Europe how out of this world we really are,” Ned winks at Ward and pulls at the zip on the back of his neck. Pulling his face, his skin stretches like elastic from his skull and his brown tentacles emerge. His eye snaps back to place in the centre of his head. Coughing and spluttering he reaches back his mouth and pulls out his ‘voice box’.
“Thats better,” Neds raspy voice is unveiled yet again to his brother. He burps like a ribitting frog. “Get me some jelly and ice-cream Ward I’m like sooo hungry,” he orders.
“OMGOMG, like its waay to early to undress Ned, like what if someone comes to visit are you stupid?”
“Seriously Ward, chillax bro, no one’s going to travel all the way to Planet Nedward to visit, do you realize how many gazillion light years we live from earth?”
“Yeah I suppose like but I just love looking this cool! Like up this high we don’t even need wax for our hair to stay up! How cool is that isn’t that sooo cool Ned?” Ward asks his brother while he sucks some helium from a balloon and jumps around doing somersaults.
Ned turns his attention back to the television. “Three giant alien spaceships are again heading for Earth!  Scientists predict the new ships will arrive in November of  2012,” the man on the television  announces. Neds jaw drops to the black spots circling his chest. He looks up toward his brother.
“Aliens?” He asks... “But were the only aliens allowed on earth, like were the ones that are heading for world domination”
“Yeah and were going to lotsa cool stuff like hand out loony shots and give everyone free jelly and ice cream and stuff,”  Ward exclaims, still in the same high pitched voice. Ned rolls his eye and turns over the channel. 

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