Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Super Tanning Mum

We have heard it all, anorexia, bulimia but the new trend to spread across America is Tanorexia. According to the Oxford English Dictionary Tanorexia is an obsessive desire to acquire and maintain a suntan, by natural or artificial methods, or as I like to put it the wish to become part of the Simpson clann.  Tanning has always been considered a characteristic of beauty to the people of the western world. Once the sun peeps out from behind those clouds we shed our winter warms for something a bit more scanty, lace some butter on our skin and allow it to melt while the sun burns holes in our skin which makes us beautiful and malignant beings.

Of course there are always going to be those few people who take it too far such as Tricia K an Oompa Loompa mother who has previously starred in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It turns out Tricia wasn’t actually a native of Loompa Land and spends her days on Sun Beds in order to achieve the orange chocolate brown colouring which adorned her part in the film. I think Mel Stuart, film director, deserves to get a refund from Mrs K.

Not only did Mrs K lie about her ethnicity but also about the mis-treatment of her daughter,  who suffered sun burns while “tanning with mommy”, police believe. It seems that this New-Jersey Mom has taken her tanning expedites a bit too seriously.

Tanning is not only seen as a characteristic of beauty but one of the qualities of a superhero. Yes it’s true Mrs K now stands in the same bracket as our childhood heroes: Spiderman, Superman and Batman. With her ability of turning browner then most other human beings, a trait that can only be connected to her hard-ass super hero skin, she has  been granted the privilege of her very own action figure earlier this week.  This yellow heard plastic figure with its orange beaming face is set to appear on your child’s Christmas wish list next November. Its plan: to take over every home across the world and set up a tanning booth while there.

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